I absolutely agree with Peter's opinion that smartphones promoted society and connect with anyone. Blaming the technology itself have no reason, it is nonsense Helena said that smartphones dwindle attention spans, yes it might be a problem , but the core of this problem is not technology itself. In nowadays society, people who cant adapt the life with smartphones is like a monkey. Even if no smartphones in their life, they were be attracted by other thing and can't deal with work and life. This is a normally phycological phenomenon that if someone have not enough courage facing difficulty, they will find a reason to let themselves escape from difficulty. This is not technology's fault. This is defect of humanity --- # GPT-4 ### Revised Paragraph: I absolutely agree with Peter's opinion that smartphones have promoted societal progress and facilitated connections with anyone. Blaming the technology itself is unreasonable and nonsensical. Helena mentioned that smartphones diminish attention spans. While this might be a problem, the crux of the issue does not lie with the technology itself. In today's society, individuals who cannot adapt to life with smartphones are at a significant disadvantage. Even without smartphones, they would be distracted by other things and unable to manage work and life effectively. It is a common psychological phenomenon that individuals lacking the courage to face difficulties will find excuses to avoid them. This is not the fault of technology; it is a flaw in human nature. ### Suggestions and Corrections: 1. **Clarity and Precision**: Ensure your sentences clearly express your thoughts. For instance, specifying "have promoted societal progress" adds clarity to what you mean by "promoted society." 2. **Grammar Corrections**: - Use "have" for plural or non-specific subjects ("Blaming the technology itself **is** unreasonable..."). - Correct tense and pluralization issues ("individuals who cannot adapt to life with smartphones **are** ..."). - "Nowadays" is one word and is more formal than "In nowadays." - Avoid anthropomorphizing technology or abstract concepts without clear intention ("This is a normally psychological phenomenon..."). 3. **Tone and Word Choice**: - The comparison to "a monkey" can be seen as offensive or overly casual for an academic or formal discussion. Consider a more neutral comparison. - "Psychological phenomenon" is a more appropriate term than "phycological," which relates to algae. - Consider rephrasing to maintain a formal and respectful tone throughout. 4. **Structure and Coherence**: - Make sure your argument flows logically from point to point. Each sentence should build upon the last to support your overall thesis. 5. **Avoid Absolute Statements**: - Using less absolute language can make your argument stronger by acknowledging the complexity of the issue ("It is a common psychological phenomenon..." instead of "This is a normally psychological phenomenon..."). Remember, revising for clarity, correctness, and tone can significantly improve the impact of your writing. If you have any more paragraphs or need further assistance, feel free to ask!